Cramps, Nightmares, Anxiety and Other Random Thoughts...

• I am done taking Clomid and now I am feeling the side effects.  The cramps are pretty bad, they are constant and once in a while I get a cramp that takes my breath away, and not in a good way!

• I did not know it was possible to have a headache for one week.  It's a dull, constant headache and I have not taken one single aspirin or ibuprofen.  See, I keep reading all these fertility blogs and the all have some kind of warning that say don't take aspirin/ibuprofen or it thins your cervical mucus, makes you bleed, thins the lining of the uterus, makes earthquakes/hurricane happen (not really, but you get my drift), etc... I am just afraid to put something in my body that may not react well with all the hormones in my body.  I hate GOOGLE (not really)!

• My lower back is on fire!  It is so sore and I don't want to put any heat on it because of all the blogs that say don't take hot baths, put a heating pad on your tummy, etc.

• Part of me is relieved that I have these side effects because in a "sick" way, it makes me believe the medication is working.  The other part of me wishes I was one of those women who didn't get any side effects. Just saying...

• My husband told me this morning that I was talking in my sleep, not unusual, and that I said "It didn't stick".  He asked me (while I was still asleep and have no recollection of the conversation) "What didn't stick" and I responded something along the lines of the baby. I had all these dreams last night and the theme was I was not pregnant.  I can't even relax in my dreams!!!!

• I am terrified about my shot tonight.  My husband took the "on-line injection training" and "feels comfortable".  Me? Not so much... I refuse to watch the video because I know that I will keep correcting him while he is giving me the shot.  He did say that he wants to play the video while he is giving me the shot, "to make sure he is following all the steps".  Seriously?

• I want to drink some delicious, red wine but I am being abundantly cautious, so I will not.

• Can I tell my husband not to drink until next week? I read that alcohol lowers your sperm count.  For the record, his sperm count is above average. (He still has the voice mail with the results of his semen analysis. So proud!)

• I have so much anxiety about tomorrow morning, Saturday.  They will let us know how many follicles, their size and then determine if we continue with the protocol.  

• I cried over Bruno Marz' song "Just the Way You Are". Whenever I think of that song, it reminds me of the way, my husband makes me feel.  When I say I cried, I really meant to say I sobbed. 

• I am happy my husband returned that horrible black shirt and tie that he planned to wear with his light tan suit.  I reminded me of what a Soprano's cast member would wear. 

• It will happen for us!